The Value of Doing Nothing
In some way, shape, or form, I’ve studied “productivity” since reading The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People in middle school. Just a couple years ago, I was drinking no less than 12 shots of espresso every day. It helped me get more work done. Faster. I could stay up later to do more work, and I could wake up and get straight to work after waking up. Get more done. Faster. The key to productivity. The key to success. The key to great accomplishments. The key to a great life… Then I read the Four Hour Workweek. Always a …
A Paradox: Ambition and Non-Attachment
To live well in the spiritual realm, eliminate desire. To live well in the human realm, cultivate desire for good. Another way of saying this is that a spiritual axiom is to “be in the present” or “be here now.” But having a desire for good is to recognize “the discord between what is now, and what could be in the future.” We are taught to “be happy with what we have,” yet we reward those with great ambition. Ambition, in it’s purest form, is to so deeply desire what we don’t have that we take the necessary (and often …
Good Product Design
I might be inclined to say that “good product design” is when five things easily fall into place because of the design: Publishers want to write about it. (Marketing) Significant value is easily assessed by the consumer. (Sales) Post purchase, consumers feel they got a great deal. (Retention) The margin is fair for the producing company. (Profit) It has superior marginal utility in the marketplace. (Leadership)
Why and How I’m Beginning Women’s Coaching Work
I originally posted this here, on my new business website, FullFeminine.com. As BenWills.com is where most people know my writing, I wanted to point you there as I’ll be writing over there as well. I’m also very excited to be doing this work. If you have any questions, let me know. Somewhere along the way, something changed. I’ve spent most of my life trying to understand women and relationships. And I’ve spent the vast majority of it really, really bad at understanding women, other people, and relationships. Something always seemed to be so much of an enigma, it felt completely …
2012 Personal Recap
I might summarize 2012 to myself as entering into the “dark night of the soul.” It was a really challenging year for me and the first majorly challenging year I’ve had since 2006 (I’ve been very lucky). It was the kind of challenging that, as I’m coming out from the other end of it, it was completely worth putting myself through most of what I chose to do. The challenges of 2012 were made possible by the previous years of personal work I began doing in January of 2007. Day in and day out since May of 2006, I’ve been …
Exactly How I Gained 10 Pounds of Muscle in Only Four Weeks
I’ve never been described as “big” or “muscular” or whatever it is the kids these days call that. Even during the 8+ years of hockey I played, I was still pretty small. In fact, in high school, I couldn’t even bench press the 45lb bar. One of my uncles has never lifted a weight in his life and is huge…he’s the kind of guy who walks in a room and everyone knows he just stepped inside. God bless genetics. In spite of my lucky genetics, in the past 28 days, I have gained 12.0 pounds of new, never-before-had muscle mass. …
Quick Thought: Engineering Breakdowns, The Practiced Art of Self-Actualization
There is one significant correlation I find among those I view as being the most highly evolved, self-actualized people I know: They become so dissatisfied with their living, they engineer significant breakdowns to become someone new. And the thing about these people is that this “engineering of breakdowns” has become an art to them. They place themselves into situations that challenge their deepest fears and edges. Then, right before what seems close to death (or, at least, ego-death), they pull themselves out. They then spend significant time deconstructing what happened…standing outside of their experience and looking in, reliving their pains …
“I want to be one of those guys.”
One video I can come back to over and over and over is a piece from HBO called “Talking Funny.” In it, Ricky Gervais semi-moderates a conversation between Jerry Seinfeld, Chris Rock and Louis CK. Most conversations among masters in nearly any field can draw my attention. For a number of reasons, comedy draws me in even more. There are a number of profound conversations and bits in this 50 minute segment. Recently, one has been standing out. About 20 minutes in, there’s a quick conversation about how they got started. Jerry and Louis shared the sentiment of “I just …
The Single-Greatest Productivity Secret: Make it Inevitable
I informally accepted a commitment today: Some time in February, I will be leading a three hour workshop on femininity, attraction and relationships for dozens of women here in Boulder. I’ll be organizing everything…handouts, concepts, principles, practices, coordinating others to be involved, etc. As excited and grateful as I am for the opportunity, I’m also nervous as all hell. This is what I want to be doing and is the next major stage of my life’s work. Yet I’m still in that place of transition where I’m unproven, inexperienced and a complete beginner as a coach/mentor/whathaveyou. In other words, it …
The Despair of Obsolescence in Personal Growth
Right now, I am frustrated. And cynical. These days happen a couplefew times a year. Often, like today, one will come between Thanksgiving and Christmas…that fallow time that comes in those quiet moments of past reflection and future planning. Most are small. Some, like tonight, serve something much larger. Not everything goes well during the year prior and, sometimes, that gets my focus. Tonight it has. I’ve been amazingly lucky with both my lot in life and also across the past several years. I haven’t had a “challenging” year since 2006. This year has been, and continues to be, deeply …